Worst experience of my life:

Okay so recently i stopped smoking marijuana because of many reasons, So i started looking for a Legal alternative. I came across something known as "M@ry Joy [Warning]" This was fairly interesting stuff at first.
And I had been smoking this for a few weeks now.


Ingredients including:
Althaea officinalis (marshmallow plant),
Verbascum thapsus (Great or Common Mullein),
Turnera diffusa (damiana),
Leonotis leonurus (Wild Dagga, Lions tail).

I had not done much research on this Drug (incense as it is sold as) before using it.

After a bad experience on a similar incense called 'Black mamba' which is mainly Tunera Diffusa (damiana plant) I knew not to smoke a lot. So i took the tiniest pinch (one of two puffs) and put it down, you get a similar effect to marijuana feeling numb and stoned, Happy effects and giggles and random thought processes   that really make you laugh. all was well.

Until it stopped working for me, so i took a bigger dosage and it was very extreme but nothing i couldn't handle. The night after I took another dosage about the same size if not a tiny part more. about a bowl size on a small bong.


There is effects such as: Visual blurriness, Extreme thinking / Over thinking, Ego-loss feeling like you are hollow and your skin is plastic, Loss of limb control over legs and arms, Extreme paranoia to cases of worrying about death, Feeling like jelly and shakes beyond control, Heart pumping very very fast, visualizing everything in Frames not smooth motion, Time going very slowly minutes become hours, Heart then starts to slow down But to the point of too slow and you start to freak out again.

I felt like i had fought for my life after smoking this dosage, I wasn't sure if I was just tripping balls or if my body was really reacting this way, Until i read about the Wild Dagga plant.

From wikipedia:

Toxicology

An animal study in rats indicated that in high doses, lion's tail has significant toxicological adverse effects on organs, red blood cells, white blood cells and other important bodily functions.
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So this plant really was messing with my bodily functions, And god knows that it does in conjunction with the 3 other plants in this blend. One of which Tunera Diffusa (damiana) is actually illegal in the USA.

 "Any combination of any of the parts, leaves, stems, stalks, seeds, materials, compounds, salts, derivatives, mixtures, preparations, or any resin extracted from any part of the plant is illegal to possess or distribute for human consumption in the state of Louisiana. This was due in part to an increase in the number of synthetic cannabis overdoses from a variety of chemically-infused plant material formulations, most of which contained Damiana as a primary ingredient."

I honestly have changed my mind about this drug.


I DO NOT RECOMMEND ANYONE SMOKE THIS BLEND.
I DO NOT THINK THIS SHOULD BE LEGAL.

dum de dum :)

Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school

Nah i kid. Just playing some skyrim taking some screenshots of my amazing graphics mod that makes it look cooler than crysis! 

and then ill call siobhan back soon :D Can't wait <3

A fresh start!

Okay from no on I want to be a nice person, And I want to make her feel like she is the most amazing girl in the world because she really is! As of now I am a different person.

From now on I am going to try my hardest to be the best boyfriend in the world! because she deserves that :)

Why?

I can't understand what is going on in my head. I left her again because i felt unhappy. But as soon as i think right i have done the right thing. I realize i still fucking love her and i hate myself for it. because now if i say anything about it it'll just look like I'm fucking her feelings about. there's something wrong with me. I wish i could un do all this and just be happy with her from the beginning.

What would it take for a fresh start?

Mission!

I cycled  a mile home, in pitch black, Pissed as a drunk rat & mashed on my medication... well that sobered me up ahaaha. was a mission and a half to see where i was going though!

Ooooh i got an interview!

I got a job interview which i will get :) Rather confident! But that will keep me going until i either get a job with the police or Enercon! So either way things are looking a lot better now :D

My baby :)

I honestly love her more than life it'self! She is so beautiful :) 

I really don't know what I'd do if this girl never came into my life, Ever since i met her 3 years ago even before we got together I was crazy about her, and always used to look over to her and smile and she'd smile back at me. then we became the bestest friends and liked each other for way over a year and just didn't really tell each other, Stuff happened when we were drunk but we never realized we liked each other that way for a long time! Then just one day after a few drunken truths came out we decided to see each other and i stayed at hers and we had the most amazing time! Then we got together and honestly i would say that is the best day of my life, she really completes me. If i ever lost this girl i would just never replace that empty feeling that would be left behind. I wish i could be good enough for her.