A new start

This is something that I have wanted to do for quite some time now. The purpose of my blog is not to be noticed or even become popular but rather a form of just telling you things about me. And maybe you will find them interesting or even inspiring, or maybe you will think I am a complete idiot and you just like to laugh at me and my terrible English skills.

I thought I'd start this today of all days because this is a happy day for me. I have been going through a little rough patch and have some problems with my mental health. I have yet to go to the Dr's about my problems but from research done by myself I think I am Bi-polar. This has caused me a lot of problems with my relationship with a girl I very much love! She has been my best friend for over two years and knows me better than anyone in the world, I doubt anyone else could ever care for me as much as she does.
The problems started because I was unable to control my own emotions, I started doubting myself and my own feelings and she saw straight through me. I put her through a lot of pain worrying her and I didn't even realise it, I'll never forgive myself. and after 9 months of us having an amazing relationship together it crashed and I ended it thinking this is what I wanted. But it wasn't I soon realised this after a few days of trying to clear my head and get over the situation, Only to find I really still love her and can't bare to not be with her, We spoke on the phone last night and had the most amazing conversation with no fights or winding each other up, we just got along like we did before. I did a lot of thinking today and really realised how much I missed her I could feel the hole in me growing larger and I was feeling more empty by the day, She was apart of my life now and that was not something I could just run from. So I suggested to her on the phone that we should try and work things out, be together again but keep it quiet she was very much ok with this. And now I'm starting to feel so much better knowing that I have her back, I'm still not better I have to still go see the Dr and try and sort my life out, but that is something I cannot do without her in it. She is the centre stone of my life, without her it all comes crumbling down...

So now all I can hope is things get better, but they won't just do that on their own. I'm willing to do whatever it takes.